Dear Derpish Diary,
Today’s my first day as an undercover Gryffindor. I’ve been in the common room for around 4 hours…I’m surprised I even lasted this long. I’m writing this from a huge, mad plushy arm chair in the corner of the common room. OMG SQUEE, THERE’S EVEN A VIBRATING OPTION! Looks like I’m killing two birds (okay, maybe not birds, because I don’t want to offend the eagles out there) with one stone – I get to invade Gryffindor and get a first-class massage while I’m at it! So, excuse me while I get my aching badg-, um, I mean LION back massaged.
-Herms the Badger “Lion”
Today’s my first day as an undercover Gryffindor. I’ve been in the common room for around 4 hours…I’m surprised I even lasted this long. I’m writing this from a huge, mad plushy arm chair in the corner of the common room. OMG SQUEE, THERE’S EVEN A VIBRATING OPTION! Looks like I’m killing two birds (okay, maybe not birds, because I don’t want to offend the eagles out there) with one stone – I get to invade Gryffindor and get a first-class massage while I’m at it! So, excuse me while I get my aching badg-, um, I mean LION back massaged.
-Herms the Badger “Lion”
Dear Derpish Diary,
Well that chair did a good job in not only giving me a massage, but putting me to sleep too. I woke up to the sound of rustling leaves. I rubbed my eyes with my paws and looked straight ahead. I was head to head with…a tree? Or was it a tree with a lion in it? Or a lion dressed as a tree? Or a tree dressed as a lion? Which makes me think – are these Gryffindors really THAT insane, to just have a giant tree sitting smack in the middle of their common room, and not say anything about it? Unless…oh my Godric….it’s…it’s DESTRI “TREE” WEASLEY! Destree (as I like to call her) writes this awesome column for the Paw Print, called “To Tree or Not to Tree”. I am a huge fan of her work, if you can’t tell already. >_>
“Oh, hey there Destri! Nice to see you,” I said.
“Hi there! You look familiar…I DEMAND TO INSPECT YOUR PAW PRINTS!” Destri exclaimed.
I started to run, because you don’t need to be a Ravenclaw to know that: paw prints = DNA sample = my beautiful plan, foiled. As I ran, Destri started chucking acorns at me. Where did she even GET those acorns, anyway?
Well for Godric’s sake, can’t this whole invading thing be easy? I thought Gryffindors loved sleep, and wouldn’t disturb a sleeping lion! Like, really – were my observations a total lie? Are the GRYFFINDORS giving ME false ideas? Do they know I’m here?
Great, just great. My first day of invading Gryffindor and this psycho tree/lion is on my trails, demanding to examine my paw prints. Well at least badgers have paws too…better than not having paws to present.
I’m hiding under a bed in the Gryffindor Girls’ Dormitory. Hopefully nobody’s going to find me here. So, excuse me while I catch up on some shut-eye. Because, you know, Gryffindors love sleep (according to my previous observations, which I am currently quite reliant on, but may or may not be accurate enough to help me blend in). And for now, I’m a Gryffindor.
-Herms the Badger “Lion”
Well that chair did a good job in not only giving me a massage, but putting me to sleep too. I woke up to the sound of rustling leaves. I rubbed my eyes with my paws and looked straight ahead. I was head to head with…a tree? Or was it a tree with a lion in it? Or a lion dressed as a tree? Or a tree dressed as a lion? Which makes me think – are these Gryffindors really THAT insane, to just have a giant tree sitting smack in the middle of their common room, and not say anything about it? Unless…oh my Godric….it’s…it’s DESTRI “TREE” WEASLEY! Destree (as I like to call her) writes this awesome column for the Paw Print, called “To Tree or Not to Tree”. I am a huge fan of her work, if you can’t tell already. >_>
“Oh, hey there Destri! Nice to see you,” I said.
“Hi there! You look familiar…I DEMAND TO INSPECT YOUR PAW PRINTS!” Destri exclaimed.
I started to run, because you don’t need to be a Ravenclaw to know that: paw prints = DNA sample = my beautiful plan, foiled. As I ran, Destri started chucking acorns at me. Where did she even GET those acorns, anyway?
Well for Godric’s sake, can’t this whole invading thing be easy? I thought Gryffindors loved sleep, and wouldn’t disturb a sleeping lion! Like, really – were my observations a total lie? Are the GRYFFINDORS giving ME false ideas? Do they know I’m here?
Great, just great. My first day of invading Gryffindor and this psycho tree/lion is on my trails, demanding to examine my paw prints. Well at least badgers have paws too…better than not having paws to present.
I’m hiding under a bed in the Gryffindor Girls’ Dormitory. Hopefully nobody’s going to find me here. So, excuse me while I catch up on some shut-eye. Because, you know, Gryffindors love sleep (according to my previous observations, which I am currently quite reliant on, but may or may not be accurate enough to help me blend in). And for now, I’m a Gryffindor.
-Herms the Badger “Lion”