by Chadwick Cadet
1. Stick a “Newbies Wanted” sign outside of Professor Missa Matz’s office.
I promise you she will only consider this a favor. No matter what house a new student is in, the Gryffindor HoH really just loves to meet everyone! She finds new students to be very intelligent and unique, so make sure you give everyone a hand by directing new students to her right away.
2. Write an essay about why Charms is a soft option and give it to Professor Ulol Kimil.
As we all know, even the famed Augusta Longbottom thought this, so it must be true! Be sure to include various points about how you can’t really make any lasting changes, and surely no powerful witch or wizard would spend their time on this.
3. Try to hunt down the Giant Squid with first years as bait.
Have you still not managed to catch the Giant Squid in action? Well that is surely due to the bait you are using! The Squid is known for liking live bait, and what is more alive than an
4. Decorate the dungeons around where you think the Slytherin Common Room is with paper hearts and flowers.
The pinker, the better. And if you can get some sparkles and flashing colors on there? Above and beyond. Those Slytherin really like to stand out, so the more decorations you can put around the place they call home, the more appreciated they will surely all feel!
5. Feed Basil some sugar cookies and milk.
If you’re not sure who Basil is - don’t worry about it, he’s quite friendly and you’ll also find him in the dungeons! If you are planning to complete option #4, it might be best to do this first, although the results can sometimes be a bit unexpected.
6. Give Maya Winters a set of 4000 unedited questions for Quidditch.
In fact, if you can go out of your way to make sure they have no basis or foundation in any of the cannon Harry Potter books, that would be even better! She really enjoys the challenge of editing things on her own, and it’s even better when she gets to a question that doesn’t exist! If you’re feeling inspired, have them be out of order so that she won’t even know what book they are from.
7. Politely inform Zoki Phantom that the Head Office has decided he is too hard working and he will therefore start out the year with a -5000 point deficit to even out the playing field.
Really, you’re doing all of us a favor.
8. Befriend a House Elf.
There isn’t much behind this except that they often go completely unnoticed. Sometimes they even have the best stories and can suggest for you to check out the coolest places in the castle, so meeting one of them is certainly worth your time.
9. Replace Edmund Smethwyck’s broomstick with hot pink high heels.
If you haven’t seen him work high heels - you have not lived! It also doesn’t hurt that I’m relatively convinced he could block a Quaffle even without a broomstick, so it won’t be missed. Why not improve the overall fashion of the sport and potentially level out the scoreboard a bit while you’re at it?
10. Find resident Hufflepirates Hermionie Miranda and Ivelisse Ada and talk to them in pirate-ese.
Whether this is your language of choice or something that is relatively new to you, there is a lot you can learn from these two experts. Having sailed the great blue of the Hogwarts Lake on many occasions, these two call the Giant Squid one of their closest partners and have lots of knowledge to share with the upcoming buccaneer!
No matter your history, all ten of these things are absolute musts for any Hogwarts student - make sure to complete them before you graduate or you will forever wish you had!