DOBBY'S SOCK, IS THAT A ROOM FOR "RENT" WITH -THE- IVELISSE ADA?
You bet your school-loving tail it is! Do you want to go home and spend the entire summer dealing with your twin brothers' pranks? Would you like to stay with your miserable aunt and uncle, or get ambushed by a rogue house-elf? If the answer is no (which it clearly is), then you BETTER come check this dorm room out!
It has WALLS and a CEILING - blocks out all that annoying nature! NO MORE RAIN UP IN THIS DORM. I fixed the leak above the guest bed with gum and duct tape, just in case the gum didn't hold. Did I mention another perk is rooming with the MacGuyver of Hufflepuff?
You won't even believe how good the location is! You will yell out MERLIN'S BEARD when you realize what I am about to tell you... THIS DORM IS RIGHT NEXT TO THE KITCHENS! Now you can get your midnight snack on without prefects getting all up in your face about curfew and all that rabble. The kitchen is so close you could hit it with a rock! (But don't, we keep it classy up in my dorm.) Still afraid you might get busted by the staff? Don't worry - I'm quite the ninja and I'm the resident Hufflepirate; I know what I'm doing and I'd be glad to show you.
We've got carpet next to the beds, too. They came in and put hardwood floor in last summer and I was like OH AZKABAN NO! I DON'T WANT MY FEET GETTING ALL COLD WHEN I STEP OUT OF BED IN THE MORNING! It's hard enough getting up for class as it is! So I put down area rugs. Carpet - it's
Son of a banshee, this room is amazing. You can put all your blankets and junk from home up in here! I promise I won't take it down, and I don't have a pesky cat around to scratch up all your personal belongings and get their fur on your sheets. You can sleep, just chill, even EAT - that's right, I allow food in here. (But if I find any crumbs or bugs, I won't be held responsible for your bed ending up as a new boat for first years...) I even have a curtain dividing the room in case you're a total broomhead - uh, I mean in case you're incredibly shy and need your own space.
"SWISH AND FLICKER, MY OWN PRIVATE SIDE OF THE ROOM? You have got to be commiting some serious jiggery-pokery!"
But I jig not, my friends! And that isn't all! We're right next to the bathroom and no one else is staying on our end of the dorm. It's like your own private bathroom. YOU CAN SHOWER WITHOUT SOME FLOPPY-WANDED DEMENTOR-BOGGERER KNOCKING ON THE DOOR ASKING IF YOU'RE IN THE SHOWER. It does not get any better than that. I am talking HOT WATER IN THE SHOWER! No more going to the lake smelling like a dragon because everyone else woke up earlier than you!
I have ELECTRICITY UP IN THIS ROOM and we've got WINDOWS in the dorm! Power all your booklamps! Use mine because I never do. No need for lumos over here, because I've got LIGHTS and HEAT.
- No cats allowed, I don't need fur all over everything and my bed is not a scratching post. Toads and owls welcome, though.
- If your sheets have holes in them, you should room with someone else.
- This dorm has windows so you can stalk your crush or whatever. WHAT'S UP FELLOW STUDENTS?
- Best of all you get to room with a BADGER who is mega friendly and a total crackpot. We can get into all kinds of shenanigans. This will NOT be a summer you'll forget. I'll even let you read my books (if you're into books.) We can even bake together. You may have ninety nine problems, but your roommate won't be one of them.
(Insert picture of Ivelisse here)
Regarding the picture, that's me - your epic new roommate.