Lavender: Welcome, to this special version of Tea Leaves!
Parvati: With me, Parvati Patil, and her, Lavender Brown!
Lavender: We are very excited to be here today.
Parvati: It’s Valentine’s Day!
Lavender: Yes, it definitely is.
Parvati: We have something special for you! Explain it, Lav!
Lavender: Okay. So instead of your normal reading, we’re going to tell you what you’re going to GET for Valentine’s Day this year.
Parvati: So exciting!!!
Lavender: Okay. Let’s get to work.
VIRGO
*swish*
Parvati: Ooh, yay, presents. Can’t wait to find out what Virgo’s getting!
Lavender: It is pretty awesome.
Parvati: You know, we should play with the tea leaves one day. Drag it out and make them suffer for their readings!
Lavender: You are positively evil, Parv.
Parvati: Hey, look, it’s…
A wall
Lavender: That’s not good.
Parvati: No, it really isn’t.
Lavender: I’m sorry, Virgo. You’ll only get walls put in between you and your valentine.
Parvati: A break up is probably in your future.
Lavender: Unfortunately I think she’s right.
Parvati: It’s a bummer to have to tell you that.
Lavender: Valentine’s Day is usually such a happy time.
Parvati: Sorry, Virgo.
Lavender: Yes, we’re really sorry!
LIBRA
*swish*
Parvati: Well, that was totally unfortunate.
Lavender: It really was.
Parvati: I hope everyone else has better luck.
Lavender: Surely they will…
Parvati: Well, we’re about to find out. It’s…
A picture frame
Parvati: Oh, well, that’s better!
Lavender: I’m sure it has a picture of the lovely couple on the inside.
Parvati: And a fabulous picture at that.
Lavender: Everyone can see it and be jealous.
Parvati: Ooh, maybe it’s one of those adorable picture frames where they have words like “love” and love quotes and stuff about it lasting forever.
Lavender: I think you’ve found the One, Libra!
Parvati: YAAAY!!!!
SCORPIO
*swish*
Parvati: *sings* What’s in store for Scorpio…
Lavender: That sounds like a jingle.
Parvati: It could be our Tea Leaves jingle!
Lavender: You’re pushing it, Parv. It’s…
A love potion
Parvati: Ooh, that’s dangerous.
Lavender: Very.
Parvati: Scorpio, you must be single. Watch your drinks and food.
Lavender: Someone is going to try to make you THEIR valentine.
Parvati: That is so, so dangerous.
Lavender: And so, so scary.
Parvati: At least you’ll be happy though!
Lavender: You’ve got a good point! Love potions make you happy!
Parvati: Remember when Romilda Vane slipped Ron that love potion when she was trying to-
Lavender: *GLARES*
Parvati: Heh heh…. Never mind. Next!
SAGITTARIUS
*swish*
Lavender: You just HAD to go there, didn’t you?
Parvati: I’m sorry, I forgot we’re not supposed to talk about your exes!
Lavender: I mean, jeez, I don’t mention yours!
Parvati: Okay, okay, I get the POINT!
Lavender: Good. It’s…
Pink
Parvati: OOH, the color of LOOOVE!
Lavender: You are so lucky, Sagittarius!
Parvati: Love is in the air for you!
Lavender: Whatever you’re getting, it’s going to be pink.
Parvati: Which is Lavender’s favorite color!
Lavender: Yes, so I’m very jealous.
Parvati: What if it’s pink roses?
Lavender: Oh, those are the best!
Parvati: Congratulations, Sagittarius! You’re getting the best Valentine’s Day ever!
CAPRICORN
*swish*
Parvati: I think I’m going to make a cake for Valentine’s Day.
Lavender: Make cookies. They’re better.
Parvati: No they’re not!
Lavender: Yes, they are!
Parvati: What if I make cookies AND a cake?
Lavender: Ooh, that’s even better!
Parvati: I’m super excited now.
Lavender: Me, too! It’s...
A candle
Parvati: Aww!!! How romantic!!!
Lavender: You’re getting a candlelit dinner!
Parvati: That’s sooo sweet.
Lavender: Really perfect. Whomever your valentine is, they’ve got the PERFECT taste.
Parvati: Can I be a Capricorn?
Lavender: No, you may not.
Parvati: Man... I wish that could be me.
Lavender: Me, too. But what can you do?
Parvati: So, so wonderful...
AQUARIUS
*swish*
Lavender: I wonder who my valentine is going to be this year...
Parvati: Well, there are plenty of frogs in the potions room we could turn into princes...
Lavender: *makes face* Eww, no one in our potions class is cute. And I REALLY hope you’re not referring to Snape’s childhood nickname...
Parvati: No, I meant ACTUAL frogs. Like ribbit. We could turn them into princes for the day!
Lavender: *stares at her* You really need some help, Parv... it’s...
Yarn
Lavender: Hmm...
Parvati: BLANKETS! SCARVES! HATS! It’s going to be a great day to cuddle up to your lovely!!
Lavender: Um, not quite. You’re just getting started in your relationship, Aquarius, and your relationship is getting woven into make something beautiful.
Parvati: Oh, I like that much better.
Lavender: Because I’m better at this than you are.
Parvati: Touche.
Lavender: I know. So Aquarius, make sure as you weave you don’t have any hiccups along the way!
Parvati: We don’t want it to unravel.
Lavender: Exactly what I was thinking
PISCES
*swish*
Parvati: Duh, we’re best friends!
Lavender: That’s oh so true.
Parvati: Forever and ever.
Lavender: Well, we’ll see.
Parvati: *hurt* That’s mean!
Lavender: You’ll be okay. It’s...
Rope
Lavender: Ooh, that doesn’t sound good at all.
Parvati: Not necessarily. Haven’t you heard about that... *whispers in Lavender’s ears*
Lavender: *blushes* Oh, my. No, that doesn’t sound bad. But anyways. Sorry, Pisces.
Parvati: Why are we sorry again?
Lavender: Because remember those games you’d play as a child with rope? Tug-o-war?
Parvati: Yes...
Lavender: Pisces is getting tugged at. They’re in a war with their valentine.
Parvati: Oh, no! Fighting is no fun!
Lavender: Indeed. It’s quite unfortunate.
Parvati: Poor things...
ARIES
*swish*
Lavender: Can you believe it? We’re already more than halfway done.
Parvati: Really? It’s going by so quickly today!
Lavender: It is. We’ll be through soon...
Parvati: I think it’s because we love Valentine’s Day so much.
Lavender: Oh, you’re probably right.
Parvati: It’s...
Bags
Parvati: CONGRATULATIONS, YOU JUST WON A ROMANTIC GETAWAY!
Lavender: We should have a buzzer for that.
Parvati: That’s so fantastic.
Lavender: What a holiday for Aries! Bags because you’re packing your bags for a trip!
Parvati: Please note that no one here at Talons and Tea Leaves is responsible for paying for your romantic getaway.
Lavender: Oh, yes. Disclaimers. You have to pay for it yourself.
Pavarti: But have fun!
Lavender: Have the time of your life!
TAURUS
*swish*
Parvati: You will be so proud of me, Lav. I didn’t just burst into song!
Lavender: Oh, thank Godric. We are finally making a breakthrough with you!
Parvati: *beams*
Lavender: What will Valentine’s Day bring for Taurus....
Parvati: It’s...
A sculpture
Parvati: Like... their valentine is getting them a sculpture of themselves?
Lavender: Maybe it’s like a Hercules sculpture or something.
Parvati: It’s still romantic.
Lavender: Your likeness chiseled into something permanent forever? It’s almost like living forever!
Parvati: One day for scientists to discover and rest their eyes on your beautiful face...
Lavender: That’s better than immortality!
Parvati: Most definitely!
GEMINI
*swish*
Parvati:Yay, it’s me!
Lavender: This should definitely be interesting.
Parvati: Come on, leaves! Clear up already!
Lavender: You know it takes a few minutes.
Parvati: Well, still. It needs to hurry!
Lavender: It can only go as fast as it does.
Parvati: Ooh, it’s clearing!
Lavender: It’s...
A curtain
Lavender: Oh, I’m sorry, Parv.
Parvati: This is not good.
Lavender: No, not really.
Parvati: A curtain? Seriously?
Lavender: Apparently so. A curtain of mystery covers your Valentine’s Day.
Parvati: This is awful... *pouts*
Lavender: I’m sorry, Parv. You know how it works though. Sometimes it isn’t good.
Parvati: I wanted it to be good though...
CANCER
*swish*
Parvati: I can’t believe this.
Lavender: I’m sorry.
Parvati: Worst. Valentine’s Day. Ever.
Lavender: I’m really sorry, Parv.
Parvati: You keep saying that and it’s not making me feel better.
Lavender: Hey, it’s...
Little Black Dress
Parvati: SO NOT FAIR!!
Lavender: Congratulations, Cancer, you’re going to look gorgeous for Valentine’s Day!
Parvati: He’s going to looooove you. Whoever you get.
Lavender: Yep, you’ll hit it off great! Love is in the air for you, Cancer!
Parvati: I can’t believe this.
Lavender: Why not?
Parvati: Why couldn’t I just have been born a month later...
Lavender: Because Padma was ready to come out?
Parvati: Stupid Padma.
Lavender: Sometimes life is not fair, Parv. Even the deserving don’t get sunshines and daisies all the time.
Parvati: This stinks.
LEO
*swish*
Lavender: On the bright side, this is the last one!
Parvati: Hallelujah! I’m ready to go drown out my sorrows with some butterbeer now.
Lavender: Maybe you’ll meet a cute, mysterious guy over butterbeer.
Parvati: I doubt it. There’s a curtain between me and my guy...
Lavender: It’s...
A camera
Parvati: *pouts* So they can take cute couple-y pictures together.
Lavender: It’s going to be okay, Parv.
Parvati: For Leo, it is. Like everyone but me.
Lavender: You’ll be okay, I swear.
Parvati: I hope you’re happy, Leo.
Lavender: Ooh, I know who your date will be Leo! You’ll be with a Libra!
Parvati: A picture frame with a camera. They go together...
Lavender: Yep, exactly. A match made in heaven!
Parvati: This is so not fair...
Lavender: Well, that’s it for today! It’s time for Parv to go get some butterbeer now.
Parvati: You have no idea...
Lavender: Have a much more wonderful Valentine’s Day than Parv!
Parvati: Happy Valentine’s Day!
Lavender: And remember, if it doesn’t go the way you’d like to, there’s always cookies you can eat.
Parvati: Ooh! Yum!!
Parvati: With me, Parvati Patil, and her, Lavender Brown!
Lavender: We are very excited to be here today.
Parvati: It’s Valentine’s Day!
Lavender: Yes, it definitely is.
Parvati: We have something special for you! Explain it, Lav!
Lavender: Okay. So instead of your normal reading, we’re going to tell you what you’re going to GET for Valentine’s Day this year.
Parvati: So exciting!!!
Lavender: Okay. Let’s get to work.
VIRGO
*swish*
Parvati: Ooh, yay, presents. Can’t wait to find out what Virgo’s getting!
Lavender: It is pretty awesome.
Parvati: You know, we should play with the tea leaves one day. Drag it out and make them suffer for their readings!
Lavender: You are positively evil, Parv.
Parvati: Hey, look, it’s…
A wall
Lavender: That’s not good.
Parvati: No, it really isn’t.
Lavender: I’m sorry, Virgo. You’ll only get walls put in between you and your valentine.
Parvati: A break up is probably in your future.
Lavender: Unfortunately I think she’s right.
Parvati: It’s a bummer to have to tell you that.
Lavender: Valentine’s Day is usually such a happy time.
Parvati: Sorry, Virgo.
Lavender: Yes, we’re really sorry!
LIBRA
*swish*
Parvati: Well, that was totally unfortunate.
Lavender: It really was.
Parvati: I hope everyone else has better luck.
Lavender: Surely they will…
Parvati: Well, we’re about to find out. It’s…
A picture frame
Parvati: Oh, well, that’s better!
Lavender: I’m sure it has a picture of the lovely couple on the inside.
Parvati: And a fabulous picture at that.
Lavender: Everyone can see it and be jealous.
Parvati: Ooh, maybe it’s one of those adorable picture frames where they have words like “love” and love quotes and stuff about it lasting forever.
Lavender: I think you’ve found the One, Libra!
Parvati: YAAAY!!!!
SCORPIO
*swish*
Parvati: *sings* What’s in store for Scorpio…
Lavender: That sounds like a jingle.
Parvati: It could be our Tea Leaves jingle!
Lavender: You’re pushing it, Parv. It’s…
A love potion
Parvati: Ooh, that’s dangerous.
Lavender: Very.
Parvati: Scorpio, you must be single. Watch your drinks and food.
Lavender: Someone is going to try to make you THEIR valentine.
Parvati: That is so, so dangerous.
Lavender: And so, so scary.
Parvati: At least you’ll be happy though!
Lavender: You’ve got a good point! Love potions make you happy!
Parvati: Remember when Romilda Vane slipped Ron that love potion when she was trying to-
Lavender: *GLARES*
Parvati: Heh heh…. Never mind. Next!
SAGITTARIUS
*swish*
Lavender: You just HAD to go there, didn’t you?
Parvati: I’m sorry, I forgot we’re not supposed to talk about your exes!
Lavender: I mean, jeez, I don’t mention yours!
Parvati: Okay, okay, I get the POINT!
Lavender: Good. It’s…
Pink
Parvati: OOH, the color of LOOOVE!
Lavender: You are so lucky, Sagittarius!
Parvati: Love is in the air for you!
Lavender: Whatever you’re getting, it’s going to be pink.
Parvati: Which is Lavender’s favorite color!
Lavender: Yes, so I’m very jealous.
Parvati: What if it’s pink roses?
Lavender: Oh, those are the best!
Parvati: Congratulations, Sagittarius! You’re getting the best Valentine’s Day ever!
CAPRICORN
*swish*
Parvati: I think I’m going to make a cake for Valentine’s Day.
Lavender: Make cookies. They’re better.
Parvati: No they’re not!
Lavender: Yes, they are!
Parvati: What if I make cookies AND a cake?
Lavender: Ooh, that’s even better!
Parvati: I’m super excited now.
Lavender: Me, too! It’s...
A candle
Parvati: Aww!!! How romantic!!!
Lavender: You’re getting a candlelit dinner!
Parvati: That’s sooo sweet.
Lavender: Really perfect. Whomever your valentine is, they’ve got the PERFECT taste.
Parvati: Can I be a Capricorn?
Lavender: No, you may not.
Parvati: Man... I wish that could be me.
Lavender: Me, too. But what can you do?
Parvati: So, so wonderful...
AQUARIUS
*swish*
Lavender: I wonder who my valentine is going to be this year...
Parvati: Well, there are plenty of frogs in the potions room we could turn into princes...
Lavender: *makes face* Eww, no one in our potions class is cute. And I REALLY hope you’re not referring to Snape’s childhood nickname...
Parvati: No, I meant ACTUAL frogs. Like ribbit. We could turn them into princes for the day!
Lavender: *stares at her* You really need some help, Parv... it’s...
Yarn
Lavender: Hmm...
Parvati: BLANKETS! SCARVES! HATS! It’s going to be a great day to cuddle up to your lovely!!
Lavender: Um, not quite. You’re just getting started in your relationship, Aquarius, and your relationship is getting woven into make something beautiful.
Parvati: Oh, I like that much better.
Lavender: Because I’m better at this than you are.
Parvati: Touche.
Lavender: I know. So Aquarius, make sure as you weave you don’t have any hiccups along the way!
Parvati: We don’t want it to unravel.
Lavender: Exactly what I was thinking
PISCES
*swish*
Parvati: Duh, we’re best friends!
Lavender: That’s oh so true.
Parvati: Forever and ever.
Lavender: Well, we’ll see.
Parvati: *hurt* That’s mean!
Lavender: You’ll be okay. It’s...
Rope
Lavender: Ooh, that doesn’t sound good at all.
Parvati: Not necessarily. Haven’t you heard about that... *whispers in Lavender’s ears*
Lavender: *blushes* Oh, my. No, that doesn’t sound bad. But anyways. Sorry, Pisces.
Parvati: Why are we sorry again?
Lavender: Because remember those games you’d play as a child with rope? Tug-o-war?
Parvati: Yes...
Lavender: Pisces is getting tugged at. They’re in a war with their valentine.
Parvati: Oh, no! Fighting is no fun!
Lavender: Indeed. It’s quite unfortunate.
Parvati: Poor things...
ARIES
*swish*
Lavender: Can you believe it? We’re already more than halfway done.
Parvati: Really? It’s going by so quickly today!
Lavender: It is. We’ll be through soon...
Parvati: I think it’s because we love Valentine’s Day so much.
Lavender: Oh, you’re probably right.
Parvati: It’s...
Bags
Parvati: CONGRATULATIONS, YOU JUST WON A ROMANTIC GETAWAY!
Lavender: We should have a buzzer for that.
Parvati: That’s so fantastic.
Lavender: What a holiday for Aries! Bags because you’re packing your bags for a trip!
Parvati: Please note that no one here at Talons and Tea Leaves is responsible for paying for your romantic getaway.
Lavender: Oh, yes. Disclaimers. You have to pay for it yourself.
Pavarti: But have fun!
Lavender: Have the time of your life!
TAURUS
*swish*
Parvati: You will be so proud of me, Lav. I didn’t just burst into song!
Lavender: Oh, thank Godric. We are finally making a breakthrough with you!
Parvati: *beams*
Lavender: What will Valentine’s Day bring for Taurus....
Parvati: It’s...
A sculpture
Parvati: Like... their valentine is getting them a sculpture of themselves?
Lavender: Maybe it’s like a Hercules sculpture or something.
Parvati: It’s still romantic.
Lavender: Your likeness chiseled into something permanent forever? It’s almost like living forever!
Parvati: One day for scientists to discover and rest their eyes on your beautiful face...
Lavender: That’s better than immortality!
Parvati: Most definitely!
GEMINI
*swish*
Parvati:Yay, it’s me!
Lavender: This should definitely be interesting.
Parvati: Come on, leaves! Clear up already!
Lavender: You know it takes a few minutes.
Parvati: Well, still. It needs to hurry!
Lavender: It can only go as fast as it does.
Parvati: Ooh, it’s clearing!
Lavender: It’s...
A curtain
Lavender: Oh, I’m sorry, Parv.
Parvati: This is not good.
Lavender: No, not really.
Parvati: A curtain? Seriously?
Lavender: Apparently so. A curtain of mystery covers your Valentine’s Day.
Parvati: This is awful... *pouts*
Lavender: I’m sorry, Parv. You know how it works though. Sometimes it isn’t good.
Parvati: I wanted it to be good though...
CANCER
*swish*
Parvati: I can’t believe this.
Lavender: I’m sorry.
Parvati: Worst. Valentine’s Day. Ever.
Lavender: I’m really sorry, Parv.
Parvati: You keep saying that and it’s not making me feel better.
Lavender: Hey, it’s...
Little Black Dress
Parvati: SO NOT FAIR!!
Lavender: Congratulations, Cancer, you’re going to look gorgeous for Valentine’s Day!
Parvati: He’s going to looooove you. Whoever you get.
Lavender: Yep, you’ll hit it off great! Love is in the air for you, Cancer!
Parvati: I can’t believe this.
Lavender: Why not?
Parvati: Why couldn’t I just have been born a month later...
Lavender: Because Padma was ready to come out?
Parvati: Stupid Padma.
Lavender: Sometimes life is not fair, Parv. Even the deserving don’t get sunshines and daisies all the time.
Parvati: This stinks.
LEO
*swish*
Lavender: On the bright side, this is the last one!
Parvati: Hallelujah! I’m ready to go drown out my sorrows with some butterbeer now.
Lavender: Maybe you’ll meet a cute, mysterious guy over butterbeer.
Parvati: I doubt it. There’s a curtain between me and my guy...
Lavender: It’s...
A camera
Parvati: *pouts* So they can take cute couple-y pictures together.
Lavender: It’s going to be okay, Parv.
Parvati: For Leo, it is. Like everyone but me.
Lavender: You’ll be okay, I swear.
Parvati: I hope you’re happy, Leo.
Lavender: Ooh, I know who your date will be Leo! You’ll be with a Libra!
Parvati: A picture frame with a camera. They go together...
Lavender: Yep, exactly. A match made in heaven!
Parvati: This is so not fair...
Lavender: Well, that’s it for today! It’s time for Parv to go get some butterbeer now.
Parvati: You have no idea...
Lavender: Have a much more wonderful Valentine’s Day than Parv!
Parvati: Happy Valentine’s Day!
Lavender: And remember, if it doesn’t go the way you’d like to, there’s always cookies you can eat.
Parvati: Ooh! Yum!!