Parvati: Oh yay, people!
Lavender: Good morning, everyone! And happy birthday, Parv!! I got you a present.
Parvati: Ooh, did you say present?!
Lavender: Yes, a present. I got you something awesome for you! You can open it later.
Parvati: Ooh no, gimme gimme gimme!! Please Lavender?!?! The suspense is killing me!!
Lavender: Fine. *slams a heavy wrapped present on the table* Open it!
Parvati: *opens* …. that’s a really big book Lavender.
Lavender: Yes! It’s a divination book for you. I think you’re losing your gift, Parv!
Parvati: You think so?
Lavender: Yes, kind of. Last month you were translating the tea leaves wrong.
Parvati: Oh. Well, I’ll find my gift again, Lavender. I promise!
Lavender: I’m so happy for you. Let’s get started!
Aries
*swish*
Parvati: Here, let me stir.
Lavender: Ooh, do you see that?
Parvati: Is that...?
Lavender: Yes it’s...
A crab
Parvati: Ooh. Are they going to date a Cancer? Where’s the index to this book?
Lavender: It’s right here. This one’s easy. Surely you know it.
Parvati: Oh, here it is! It says “A crab is an animal that dwells by the water. However, it also has sym-”
Lavender: Oh, Parvati, cut to the chase. Someone’s going to put you in a bad mood, Aries!
Parvati: Yes. That’s what it says here at the bottom.
Lavender: Just be careful this month, Aries.
Taurus
*swish*
Lavender: Do you see anything yet?
Parvati: Oh yes, I do it’s...
Homework
Parvati: But it’s about to be Summer break...
Lavender: Maybe Tauruses are taking their OWLs this year?
Parvati: Not all of them, surely.
Lavender: Well there’s gotta be some explanation.
Parvati: I just think they’re going to have a bad month too.
Lavender: Looks like it...
Gemini
*swish*
Lavender: Here dear. You take over for this one.
Parvati: WAIT, HOLD THE QUILL. Is that... Neville Longbottom? Maybe the tea leaves know something we don’t? Is he going to be my new boyfriend?
Lavender: Well he has gotten quite dreamy lately, but no dear, that is NOT Neville. *shakes* It’s....
Jacob Black?
Parvati: Isn’t that a character in one of those dumb muggle moving pictures?
Lavender: Yes, I think the new Twilight movie came out last month.
Parvati: *gasp* Is HE my new boyfriend?!?! Team Jacob forever...
Lavender: Parv, you’re NOT EVEN A GEMINI. You real Geminis out there; you’re going to love the new Twilight movie. Or someone is going to
drag you to it and make you sit through two hours of your least favorite show ever.
Parvati: Maybe Seamus should have blown up that movie instead of that bridge in the Battle of Hogwarts...
Lavender: Would have saved Geminis a bunch of pain... By the way, Parv, the movie ends when Be-
Parvati: DON’T RUIN IT!
Lavender: FINE.
Cancer
*swish*
Parvati: So do people who are Cancers like have cancer?
Lavender: Parvati! That’s such an insensitive thing to say.
Parvati: No, you saying werewolf people are monsters last week was insensitive.
Lavender: *blush* Anyways. For Cancers today we have...
Raindrops
Parvati: Raindrops on roses-
Lavender: What did I tell you about singing muggle songs last time?
Parvati: I CAN’T HELP IT. Cancers, I think you oughta take some umbrellas(ella, ella...) this month.
Lavender: Metaphorical umbrellas that is. But don’t worry. It will be alright. Just don’t let it rain on your parade!
Parvati: Ooh, parades. My favorite part of holidays.
Lavender: Me too.
Leo
*swish*
Lavender: Ooh. This one is fun!
Parvati: Aww, it’s...
A puppy dog!
Lavender: Leos, I think we know what you’re getting for your birthday this year.
Parvati: *snickers*
Lavender: What’s so funny?
Parvati: Well, Leos are lions. Which is a cat. Isn’t it funny they’re getting a dog?
Lavender: That is a little funny....
Parvati: I think you’re going to fight with a friend as if you two were cats and dogs this month, Leos.
Lavender: *looks up in book* Wow, Parv. You’re actually right!
Parvati: Yay me!
Virgo
*swish*
Lavender: Viiiiirgo. You’re up next!
Parvati: Can I do this one too?
Lavender: Sure Parv.
Parvati: It’s...
A Candle
Lavender: I totally approve. This is exciting for Virgos!
Parvati: You’re going to find inspiration this month, Virgos.
Lavender: Yes audience, that’s right! Something is going to light the fire under you to do something amazing.
Parvati: Maybe they’ll give to charity?
Lavender: Aww, that would be so sweet!
Libra
*swish*
Parvati: I could do something amazing one day.
Lavender: We'll believe it when we see it...
Parvati: It’s funny you should mention that.
Lavender: Why?
Parvati: Well, look at the teacup. It's..
Fireworks
Parvati: "Baby you're a firework!"
Lavender: QUIT, MY EARS, THEY BLEED...
Parvati: I wish we shot off fireworks here at Hogwarts. It would be so pretty behind the castle, don't you think?
Lavender: Maybe we should ask Professor Trelawney about that.
Parvati: Yes, very soon.
Lavender: Libra, you’re going to have a great summer holiday this year! Full of fireworks and everything. In your romantic life and normal life.
Parvati: Maybe you should come over to my house and cheer my Uncle Pat up.
Lavender: Pat?
Parvati: Yeah, Pat for Patil. Duh!
Lavender: … anyways.
Scorpio
*swish*
Parvati: I wonder what we have this time.
Lavender: Um, I’m appalled.
Parvati: Why? Oh, it’s...
Trash
Lavender: Eww.
Parvati: Poor Scorpios. What does this mean?
Lavender: They don’t need to do their homework this month for starters. It’s all going to be complete garbage anyways.
Parvati: Oh no. Think of all those zeroes! Good luck passing your finals now...
Lavender: No points for Gryffindor...
Parvati: It must be the Scorpios at fault for Gryffindor being last place again this year...
Sagittarius
*swish*
Lavender: Hmm.
Parvati: What?
Lavender: This is a tricky one.
Parvati: Well what do you think it is?
Lavender: It’s...
A Bottle
Parvati: What could this mean?
Lavender: They’re bottling up their emotions.
Parvati: Can you bottle up emotions? Aren’t they a little bit invisible?
Lavender: It’s a figure of speech, silly. Sagittarius, be careful with your feelings this month. Make sure if there’s an issue you voice it.
Parvati: Aww, Lav, that was deep!
Lavender: I can be deep sometimes...
Capricorn
*swish*
Parvati: This one’s harder.
Lavender: Yes, but I can see it now. It’s...
The Letter Z
Parvati: The letter Z??
Lavender: For Zebra. Which represents ugly.
Parvati: Oh no, Capricorns. You’re gonna get an ugly sweater from a friend this month.
Lavender: They must be related to the Weasleys...
Parvati: Lavender! That’s so mean!
Lavender: You know you were thinking it too. Besides, I dated Ron. I can say that.
Aquarius
*swish*
Lavender: Now what do we have?
Parvati: Seems like it’s coming clear to me...
Lavender: Yes it’s...
A ship
Parvati: Man, the tea leaves are really deep this month.
Lavender: Quite metaphorical.
Parvati: Whose ship is sailing though?
Lavender: That’s for Aquariuses to figure out- not us.
Parvati: Well, good luck, Aquarius!
Pisces
*swish*
Parvati: Oh, are we already done?
Lavender: Just this last one.
Parvati: That was quick today.
Lavender: Well, luckily you got your gift back.
Parvati: Can I do the last one then? It’s...
An orange
Lavender: … what does an orange mean?
Parvati: The book says it doesn’t have a word that rhymes with it...
Lavender: Oh, I know what it means now!
Parvati: What?
Lavender: Pisces are going to be one of a kind this month!
Parvati: Oh that’s cool!
Lavender: It really is.
Lavender: Well, that’s all we have today guys.
Parvati: Happy birthday to me!
Lavender: Yes, Happy Birthday to Parvati, and Happy End of the Semester to you from us, your monthly tea leaf readers.
Lavender: Good morning, everyone! And happy birthday, Parv!! I got you a present.
Parvati: Ooh, did you say present?!
Lavender: Yes, a present. I got you something awesome for you! You can open it later.
Parvati: Ooh no, gimme gimme gimme!! Please Lavender?!?! The suspense is killing me!!
Lavender: Fine. *slams a heavy wrapped present on the table* Open it!
Parvati: *opens* …. that’s a really big book Lavender.
Lavender: Yes! It’s a divination book for you. I think you’re losing your gift, Parv!
Parvati: You think so?
Lavender: Yes, kind of. Last month you were translating the tea leaves wrong.
Parvati: Oh. Well, I’ll find my gift again, Lavender. I promise!
Lavender: I’m so happy for you. Let’s get started!
Aries
*swish*
Parvati: Here, let me stir.
Lavender: Ooh, do you see that?
Parvati: Is that...?
Lavender: Yes it’s...
A crab
Parvati: Ooh. Are they going to date a Cancer? Where’s the index to this book?
Lavender: It’s right here. This one’s easy. Surely you know it.
Parvati: Oh, here it is! It says “A crab is an animal that dwells by the water. However, it also has sym-”
Lavender: Oh, Parvati, cut to the chase. Someone’s going to put you in a bad mood, Aries!
Parvati: Yes. That’s what it says here at the bottom.
Lavender: Just be careful this month, Aries.
Taurus
*swish*
Lavender: Do you see anything yet?
Parvati: Oh yes, I do it’s...
Homework
Parvati: But it’s about to be Summer break...
Lavender: Maybe Tauruses are taking their OWLs this year?
Parvati: Not all of them, surely.
Lavender: Well there’s gotta be some explanation.
Parvati: I just think they’re going to have a bad month too.
Lavender: Looks like it...
Gemini
*swish*
Lavender: Here dear. You take over for this one.
Parvati: WAIT, HOLD THE QUILL. Is that... Neville Longbottom? Maybe the tea leaves know something we don’t? Is he going to be my new boyfriend?
Lavender: Well he has gotten quite dreamy lately, but no dear, that is NOT Neville. *shakes* It’s....
Jacob Black?
Parvati: Isn’t that a character in one of those dumb muggle moving pictures?
Lavender: Yes, I think the new Twilight movie came out last month.
Parvati: *gasp* Is HE my new boyfriend?!?! Team Jacob forever...
Lavender: Parv, you’re NOT EVEN A GEMINI. You real Geminis out there; you’re going to love the new Twilight movie. Or someone is going to
drag you to it and make you sit through two hours of your least favorite show ever.
Parvati: Maybe Seamus should have blown up that movie instead of that bridge in the Battle of Hogwarts...
Lavender: Would have saved Geminis a bunch of pain... By the way, Parv, the movie ends when Be-
Parvati: DON’T RUIN IT!
Lavender: FINE.
Cancer
*swish*
Parvati: So do people who are Cancers like have cancer?
Lavender: Parvati! That’s such an insensitive thing to say.
Parvati: No, you saying werewolf people are monsters last week was insensitive.
Lavender: *blush* Anyways. For Cancers today we have...
Raindrops
Parvati: Raindrops on roses-
Lavender: What did I tell you about singing muggle songs last time?
Parvati: I CAN’T HELP IT. Cancers, I think you oughta take some umbrellas(ella, ella...) this month.
Lavender: Metaphorical umbrellas that is. But don’t worry. It will be alright. Just don’t let it rain on your parade!
Parvati: Ooh, parades. My favorite part of holidays.
Lavender: Me too.
Leo
*swish*
Lavender: Ooh. This one is fun!
Parvati: Aww, it’s...
A puppy dog!
Lavender: Leos, I think we know what you’re getting for your birthday this year.
Parvati: *snickers*
Lavender: What’s so funny?
Parvati: Well, Leos are lions. Which is a cat. Isn’t it funny they’re getting a dog?
Lavender: That is a little funny....
Parvati: I think you’re going to fight with a friend as if you two were cats and dogs this month, Leos.
Lavender: *looks up in book* Wow, Parv. You’re actually right!
Parvati: Yay me!
Virgo
*swish*
Lavender: Viiiiirgo. You’re up next!
Parvati: Can I do this one too?
Lavender: Sure Parv.
Parvati: It’s...
A Candle
Lavender: I totally approve. This is exciting for Virgos!
Parvati: You’re going to find inspiration this month, Virgos.
Lavender: Yes audience, that’s right! Something is going to light the fire under you to do something amazing.
Parvati: Maybe they’ll give to charity?
Lavender: Aww, that would be so sweet!
Libra
*swish*
Parvati: I could do something amazing one day.
Lavender: We'll believe it when we see it...
Parvati: It’s funny you should mention that.
Lavender: Why?
Parvati: Well, look at the teacup. It's..
Fireworks
Parvati: "Baby you're a firework!"
Lavender: QUIT, MY EARS, THEY BLEED...
Parvati: I wish we shot off fireworks here at Hogwarts. It would be so pretty behind the castle, don't you think?
Lavender: Maybe we should ask Professor Trelawney about that.
Parvati: Yes, very soon.
Lavender: Libra, you’re going to have a great summer holiday this year! Full of fireworks and everything. In your romantic life and normal life.
Parvati: Maybe you should come over to my house and cheer my Uncle Pat up.
Lavender: Pat?
Parvati: Yeah, Pat for Patil. Duh!
Lavender: … anyways.
Scorpio
*swish*
Parvati: I wonder what we have this time.
Lavender: Um, I’m appalled.
Parvati: Why? Oh, it’s...
Trash
Lavender: Eww.
Parvati: Poor Scorpios. What does this mean?
Lavender: They don’t need to do their homework this month for starters. It’s all going to be complete garbage anyways.
Parvati: Oh no. Think of all those zeroes! Good luck passing your finals now...
Lavender: No points for Gryffindor...
Parvati: It must be the Scorpios at fault for Gryffindor being last place again this year...
Sagittarius
*swish*
Lavender: Hmm.
Parvati: What?
Lavender: This is a tricky one.
Parvati: Well what do you think it is?
Lavender: It’s...
A Bottle
Parvati: What could this mean?
Lavender: They’re bottling up their emotions.
Parvati: Can you bottle up emotions? Aren’t they a little bit invisible?
Lavender: It’s a figure of speech, silly. Sagittarius, be careful with your feelings this month. Make sure if there’s an issue you voice it.
Parvati: Aww, Lav, that was deep!
Lavender: I can be deep sometimes...
Capricorn
*swish*
Parvati: This one’s harder.
Lavender: Yes, but I can see it now. It’s...
The Letter Z
Parvati: The letter Z??
Lavender: For Zebra. Which represents ugly.
Parvati: Oh no, Capricorns. You’re gonna get an ugly sweater from a friend this month.
Lavender: They must be related to the Weasleys...
Parvati: Lavender! That’s so mean!
Lavender: You know you were thinking it too. Besides, I dated Ron. I can say that.
Aquarius
*swish*
Lavender: Now what do we have?
Parvati: Seems like it’s coming clear to me...
Lavender: Yes it’s...
A ship
Parvati: Man, the tea leaves are really deep this month.
Lavender: Quite metaphorical.
Parvati: Whose ship is sailing though?
Lavender: That’s for Aquariuses to figure out- not us.
Parvati: Well, good luck, Aquarius!
Pisces
*swish*
Parvati: Oh, are we already done?
Lavender: Just this last one.
Parvati: That was quick today.
Lavender: Well, luckily you got your gift back.
Parvati: Can I do the last one then? It’s...
An orange
Lavender: … what does an orange mean?
Parvati: The book says it doesn’t have a word that rhymes with it...
Lavender: Oh, I know what it means now!
Parvati: What?
Lavender: Pisces are going to be one of a kind this month!
Parvati: Oh that’s cool!
Lavender: It really is.
Lavender: Well, that’s all we have today guys.
Parvati: Happy birthday to me!
Lavender: Yes, Happy Birthday to Parvati, and Happy End of the Semester to you from us, your monthly tea leaf readers.