Lavender: Finally, it’s summer!
Parvati: Hoorah, summer’s here!
Lavender: Yes. The train is being boarded-
Parvati: WHAT?! It’s not leaving without us, is it?
Lavender: No, Parv, calm down. Let me finish. The train is being boarded soon, but I see our guests want their fortunes read before they go.
Parvati: I don’t blame them. What does the summer hold? Fun in the sun, summer romances, it’s all so wonderful!
Lavender: Yes, you do all those things. I’m going to a nice summer home in a remote part of Switzerland. My aunt has invited me to stay with here.
Parvati: Lucky!
Lavender: Yes, especially since she has her own private masseuse.
Parvati: Are they related to a moose?
Lavender: *stares* I swear, Parvati, sometimes I wonder if you even have a brain!
Parvati: Yes, I do, Lav, it’s in my head.
Lavender: Well, at least you know that. Let’s give these people what they came for now, okay?
Parvati: Okay!
Parvati: Hoorah, summer’s here!
Lavender: Yes. The train is being boarded-
Parvati: WHAT?! It’s not leaving without us, is it?
Lavender: No, Parv, calm down. Let me finish. The train is being boarded soon, but I see our guests want their fortunes read before they go.
Parvati: I don’t blame them. What does the summer hold? Fun in the sun, summer romances, it’s all so wonderful!
Lavender: Yes, you do all those things. I’m going to a nice summer home in a remote part of Switzerland. My aunt has invited me to stay with here.
Parvati: Lucky!
Lavender: Yes, especially since she has her own private masseuse.
Parvati: Are they related to a moose?
Lavender: *stares* I swear, Parvati, sometimes I wonder if you even have a brain!
Parvati: Yes, I do, Lav, it’s in my head.
Lavender: Well, at least you know that. Let’s give these people what they came for now, okay?
Parvati: Okay!
Aries
*swish*
Parvati: I wonder what our Aries have for them today!
Lavender: Give me a sec. I have to shake the cup.
Parvati: Isn’t that cheating?
Lavender: No, of course not.
Parvati: It’s…
A stapler
Parvati: What can you do with a stapler?
Lavender: I know!
Parvati: NO, I’VE GOT IT! YOU’RE GOING TO BE STUCK TO SOMEONE THIS SUMMER!!
Lavender: But that might not be a good thing. It could be your kid brother when you just want to be alone to meet cool people!
Parvati: But it could be a good thing.
Lavender: It’s probably not though. Next!
Taurus
*swish*
Parvati: Ooh, is that….?
Lavender: Yeah, that’s exactly what it is. It’s…
A knut
Parvati: Ooh, you’re going to be rich, Taurus!!
Lavender: Yes, money will be coming your way this summer. You get a good fortune this time!
Parvati: But a knut isn’t a lot of money…?
Lavender: Oh, good point, Parv, it’s not.
Parvati: Maybe it means you are actually going to only have a knut to live on the entire summer.
Lavender: Yeah, I think you’re right. Good luck taking out that pretty girl you like out now!
Gemini
*swish*
Parvati: Twinsies!
Lavender: Okay, Parv, I’ll let you do this one.
Parvati: It’s…
A cookie
Parvati: Ooh, jealous!
Lavender: You’re going to have an AMAZING month.
Parvati: No, it’s going to be sweet.
Lavender: Haha, great pun there!
Parvati: Huh?
Lavender: Never mind. Geminis, enjoy your cookies and your great month.
Parvati: Yes, you’re way luckier than Taurus and Aries!
Cancer
*swish*
Lavender: Parvati, while we’re waiting for the leaves to clear, I just wanted to tell you I’m going to miss you this summer. Promise you’ll write?
Parvati: Of course, Lav, you know I can’t go a day without talking to you.
Lavender: We’re always going to be friends forever, right?
Parvati: Yes, always. Oh, look, it’s…
A tree
Lavender: Cancers, are you going camping this summer?
Parvati: Ooh, I hope not. All that grass and wilderness is itchy.
Lavender: I agree.
Parvati: If you’ve got a significant other who’s taking you to go camping, you should totally break up with them.
Lavender: It’s just not romantic. I’m sooo a city girl.
Parvati: And that’s why we’re best friends.
Leo
*swish*
Parvati: Next year we should try to sing all our tea leaves readings…
Lavender: Parv, that’s the worst idea I’ve ever heard.
Parvati: You’re just jealous you didn’t come up with it first.
Lavender: It’s…
A tea cup
Parvati: You’re going to be very thirsty?
Lavender: I’ll say. But it means your future is going to be bright this month, Leo. The tea cup is a sign of a bright future.
Parvati: But why?
Lavender: Well, because we use tea cups to predict futures so having one means that they’ll have a bright future this month.
Parvati: Ohhh…. I wish I was a Leo.
Lavender: Me too, Parv. Me, too.
Virgo
*swish*
Parvati: What’s for Virgos this month?
Lavender: Well, we’re about to find out.
Parvati: It’s…
A chair
Parvati: A… a chair? *Shakes the tea cup*
Lavender: Yes, a chair. You lucky Virgos, you’re going to have a sturdy summer. Everything’s just going to go right for you. No problems at all.
Parvati: And if they don’t, you’ll have plenty of places to sit and take a rest.
Lavender: Oh, good point Parv! Yes, Virgos, you’ll get plenty of rest this month.
Parvati: I love sleep!
Lavender: Well, duh, you’re a Gryff.
Libra
*swish*
Parvati: What does a Gryff have to do with sleeping?
Lavender: Didn’t you read Hermionie Miranda’s article last month? Gryffindors love their sleep!
Parvati: Oh yeah, I really loved her article… she was totally right about the sleep thing.
Lavender: Ooh, I see the tea leaves! It’s…
A guitar
Parvati: Aww, yay, you get a musical month!
Lavender: Be careful not to get your strings tied too tight this month, Libra. If you do it will throw your equilibrium off and you’ll have a not so great summer.
Parvati: Ooh, that’s deep. But what if they get their strings too loose?
Lavender: Life will fall flat. Much like the notes on a guitar….
Parvati: I always thought loose strings sounded like music in water.
Lavender: That’s even worse! Stay away from water, Libra! You’ll drown!
Scorpio
*swish*
Parvati: Next year we should switch it up and let Scorpio go first.
Lavender: But we do this in the normal order of things.
Parvati: Yeah, but I feel bad for Scorpio and all the other ones. They’re always the last ones.
Lavender: Well… we’ll talk about it later.
Parvati: Okay! It’s…
Some glass
Lavender: Be careful where you step, Scorpio! You might cut yourself.
Parvati: And that would hurt.
Lavender: However, it also might mean that you can see through people this month.
Parvati: Ooh, like a ghost whisperer person? That’s what they call them in the Muggle world, right?
Lavender: No Parv. Like you know. You can see who’s fake and who’s real.
Parvati: *examines hand* I’m real.
Lavender: Yes, yes you are. Anyways…
Sagittarius
*Swish*
Parvati: Are we done yet?
Lavender: No, Parvati, just a few more…
Parvati: Yay! I’m so excited! And then we can catch the train!
Lavender: Parvati, the train doesn’t come for another week.
Parvati: But you said earlier-
Lavender: You need to pay better attention. Oh! It’s…
The Eiffel Tower
Parvati: Ooh, the city of love! I’m so jealous!
Lavender: Actually, it was built as a memorial for freedom in France. It doesn’t represent love at all.
Parvati: Since when did you become Hermione Granger?
Lavender: Hey! That was a low blow!
Parvati: *shrugs* I still say you’re going to have a wonderful month of love, Sagittarius!
Lavender: And I say you’re going to have a summer of freedom.
Parvati: Love and freedom, sounds like a wonderful summer to me!
Capricorn
*swish*
Parvati: La la la la la…
Lavender: Why are you singing?
Parvati: Because you’re not going fast enough.
Lavender: Then YOU do it.
Parvati: Fine! It’s…
The Sun
Parvati: Yay for sun in the summer!
Lavender: Who would imagine the sun would be out in the summer…
Parvati: But it’s not all wonderful, Capricorn! With that much sun, you could get burnt!
Lavender: Yes, so be careful! You never know when you’re going to get burned.
Parvati: You are so right, Lav. Never were there any truer words spoken.
Lavender: … anyways.
Aquarius
*Swish*
Lavender: Aquarius! How many Aquariuses are there?
Parvati: Wave your hands in the air like you just don’t care!
Lavender: Parv, what did we say about quoting things?
Parvati: Not to do it.
Lavender: Exactly. Seriously. If you don’t quit I’ll find someone else.
Parvati: Like who?
Lavender: I don’t know. Maybe a guy. Seamus? Dean?
Parvati: Hah, that’s a joke!
Lavender: Oh, here it is, it’s…
Australia
Parvati: Oh, no, you’re gonna be under the weather this month, Aquarius!
Lavender: How’d you figure that?
Parvati: Well, Australia is the land down under, so you’ll be under the weather.
Lavender: Oh… well Aquarius, you’d better start stocking up on medication now. Maybe research some home remedies? It sucks you’ll have to be sick on the first month of the summer holidays though…
Parvati: Get well soon!
Lavender: Definitely.
Pisces
*Swish*
Parvati: My ex was a Pisces.
Lavender: Since when did you ever have a boyfriend?
Parvati: I totally did. He was nice, handsome-
Lavender: Are you sure he was real?
Parvati: He was also a jerk.
Lavender: Ooh… well say hello to our new Pisces man, he could be my boyfriend any day. It’s…
Spiderman
Parvati: *swoon*
Lavender: That’s odd. I think that muggle movie is coming out soon.
Parvati: I know what the Pisces are going to be watching this month.
Lavender: Yes, I see a trip to the movie theater in your immediate future, Pisces.
Parvati: Yay, popcorn!
Lavender: Definitely. That’s the best part!
*swish*
Parvati: I wonder what our Aries have for them today!
Lavender: Give me a sec. I have to shake the cup.
Parvati: Isn’t that cheating?
Lavender: No, of course not.
Parvati: It’s…
A stapler
Parvati: What can you do with a stapler?
Lavender: I know!
Parvati: NO, I’VE GOT IT! YOU’RE GOING TO BE STUCK TO SOMEONE THIS SUMMER!!
Lavender: But that might not be a good thing. It could be your kid brother when you just want to be alone to meet cool people!
Parvati: But it could be a good thing.
Lavender: It’s probably not though. Next!
Taurus
*swish*
Parvati: Ooh, is that….?
Lavender: Yeah, that’s exactly what it is. It’s…
A knut
Parvati: Ooh, you’re going to be rich, Taurus!!
Lavender: Yes, money will be coming your way this summer. You get a good fortune this time!
Parvati: But a knut isn’t a lot of money…?
Lavender: Oh, good point, Parv, it’s not.
Parvati: Maybe it means you are actually going to only have a knut to live on the entire summer.
Lavender: Yeah, I think you’re right. Good luck taking out that pretty girl you like out now!
Gemini
*swish*
Parvati: Twinsies!
Lavender: Okay, Parv, I’ll let you do this one.
Parvati: It’s…
A cookie
Parvati: Ooh, jealous!
Lavender: You’re going to have an AMAZING month.
Parvati: No, it’s going to be sweet.
Lavender: Haha, great pun there!
Parvati: Huh?
Lavender: Never mind. Geminis, enjoy your cookies and your great month.
Parvati: Yes, you’re way luckier than Taurus and Aries!
Cancer
*swish*
Lavender: Parvati, while we’re waiting for the leaves to clear, I just wanted to tell you I’m going to miss you this summer. Promise you’ll write?
Parvati: Of course, Lav, you know I can’t go a day without talking to you.
Lavender: We’re always going to be friends forever, right?
Parvati: Yes, always. Oh, look, it’s…
A tree
Lavender: Cancers, are you going camping this summer?
Parvati: Ooh, I hope not. All that grass and wilderness is itchy.
Lavender: I agree.
Parvati: If you’ve got a significant other who’s taking you to go camping, you should totally break up with them.
Lavender: It’s just not romantic. I’m sooo a city girl.
Parvati: And that’s why we’re best friends.
Leo
*swish*
Parvati: Next year we should try to sing all our tea leaves readings…
Lavender: Parv, that’s the worst idea I’ve ever heard.
Parvati: You’re just jealous you didn’t come up with it first.
Lavender: It’s…
A tea cup
Parvati: You’re going to be very thirsty?
Lavender: I’ll say. But it means your future is going to be bright this month, Leo. The tea cup is a sign of a bright future.
Parvati: But why?
Lavender: Well, because we use tea cups to predict futures so having one means that they’ll have a bright future this month.
Parvati: Ohhh…. I wish I was a Leo.
Lavender: Me too, Parv. Me, too.
Virgo
*swish*
Parvati: What’s for Virgos this month?
Lavender: Well, we’re about to find out.
Parvati: It’s…
A chair
Parvati: A… a chair? *Shakes the tea cup*
Lavender: Yes, a chair. You lucky Virgos, you’re going to have a sturdy summer. Everything’s just going to go right for you. No problems at all.
Parvati: And if they don’t, you’ll have plenty of places to sit and take a rest.
Lavender: Oh, good point Parv! Yes, Virgos, you’ll get plenty of rest this month.
Parvati: I love sleep!
Lavender: Well, duh, you’re a Gryff.
Libra
*swish*
Parvati: What does a Gryff have to do with sleeping?
Lavender: Didn’t you read Hermionie Miranda’s article last month? Gryffindors love their sleep!
Parvati: Oh yeah, I really loved her article… she was totally right about the sleep thing.
Lavender: Ooh, I see the tea leaves! It’s…
A guitar
Parvati: Aww, yay, you get a musical month!
Lavender: Be careful not to get your strings tied too tight this month, Libra. If you do it will throw your equilibrium off and you’ll have a not so great summer.
Parvati: Ooh, that’s deep. But what if they get their strings too loose?
Lavender: Life will fall flat. Much like the notes on a guitar….
Parvati: I always thought loose strings sounded like music in water.
Lavender: That’s even worse! Stay away from water, Libra! You’ll drown!
Scorpio
*swish*
Parvati: Next year we should switch it up and let Scorpio go first.
Lavender: But we do this in the normal order of things.
Parvati: Yeah, but I feel bad for Scorpio and all the other ones. They’re always the last ones.
Lavender: Well… we’ll talk about it later.
Parvati: Okay! It’s…
Some glass
Lavender: Be careful where you step, Scorpio! You might cut yourself.
Parvati: And that would hurt.
Lavender: However, it also might mean that you can see through people this month.
Parvati: Ooh, like a ghost whisperer person? That’s what they call them in the Muggle world, right?
Lavender: No Parv. Like you know. You can see who’s fake and who’s real.
Parvati: *examines hand* I’m real.
Lavender: Yes, yes you are. Anyways…
Sagittarius
*Swish*
Parvati: Are we done yet?
Lavender: No, Parvati, just a few more…
Parvati: Yay! I’m so excited! And then we can catch the train!
Lavender: Parvati, the train doesn’t come for another week.
Parvati: But you said earlier-
Lavender: You need to pay better attention. Oh! It’s…
The Eiffel Tower
Parvati: Ooh, the city of love! I’m so jealous!
Lavender: Actually, it was built as a memorial for freedom in France. It doesn’t represent love at all.
Parvati: Since when did you become Hermione Granger?
Lavender: Hey! That was a low blow!
Parvati: *shrugs* I still say you’re going to have a wonderful month of love, Sagittarius!
Lavender: And I say you’re going to have a summer of freedom.
Parvati: Love and freedom, sounds like a wonderful summer to me!
Capricorn
*swish*
Parvati: La la la la la…
Lavender: Why are you singing?
Parvati: Because you’re not going fast enough.
Lavender: Then YOU do it.
Parvati: Fine! It’s…
The Sun
Parvati: Yay for sun in the summer!
Lavender: Who would imagine the sun would be out in the summer…
Parvati: But it’s not all wonderful, Capricorn! With that much sun, you could get burnt!
Lavender: Yes, so be careful! You never know when you’re going to get burned.
Parvati: You are so right, Lav. Never were there any truer words spoken.
Lavender: … anyways.
Aquarius
*Swish*
Lavender: Aquarius! How many Aquariuses are there?
Parvati: Wave your hands in the air like you just don’t care!
Lavender: Parv, what did we say about quoting things?
Parvati: Not to do it.
Lavender: Exactly. Seriously. If you don’t quit I’ll find someone else.
Parvati: Like who?
Lavender: I don’t know. Maybe a guy. Seamus? Dean?
Parvati: Hah, that’s a joke!
Lavender: Oh, here it is, it’s…
Australia
Parvati: Oh, no, you’re gonna be under the weather this month, Aquarius!
Lavender: How’d you figure that?
Parvati: Well, Australia is the land down under, so you’ll be under the weather.
Lavender: Oh… well Aquarius, you’d better start stocking up on medication now. Maybe research some home remedies? It sucks you’ll have to be sick on the first month of the summer holidays though…
Parvati: Get well soon!
Lavender: Definitely.
Pisces
*Swish*
Parvati: My ex was a Pisces.
Lavender: Since when did you ever have a boyfriend?
Parvati: I totally did. He was nice, handsome-
Lavender: Are you sure he was real?
Parvati: He was also a jerk.
Lavender: Ooh… well say hello to our new Pisces man, he could be my boyfriend any day. It’s…
Spiderman
Parvati: *swoon*
Lavender: That’s odd. I think that muggle movie is coming out soon.
Parvati: I know what the Pisces are going to be watching this month.
Lavender: Yes, I see a trip to the movie theater in your immediate future, Pisces.
Parvati: Yay, popcorn!
Lavender: Definitely. That’s the best part!
Lavender: Well, guests, we hope you enjoyed your fortunes!
Parvati: Sorry if you’re going to have a bad month.
Lavender: We really can’t help what the tea leaves decide.
Parvati: That would be really cool if we could.
Lavender: Yes, Parv, but we can’t.
Parvati: Everyone have a wonderful summer!
Lavender: Enjoy your superheroes!
Parvati: Goodbye, everyone. I have a train to catch.
Lavender: *facepalm*
Parvati: Sorry if you’re going to have a bad month.
Lavender: We really can’t help what the tea leaves decide.
Parvati: That would be really cool if we could.
Lavender: Yes, Parv, but we can’t.
Parvati: Everyone have a wonderful summer!
Lavender: Enjoy your superheroes!
Parvati: Goodbye, everyone. I have a train to catch.
Lavender: *facepalm*