by Hailey Potter
Lavender: Welcome, welcome, to the first Talons and Tea Leaves of the year!
Parvati: So I hear the new Paw Print theme is “Old and new.”
Lavender: There’s a lot of things that are old and new, but we stick around through them all!
Parvati: Oh, that’s so true! We do, don’t we?
Lavender: Here we are, year by year, giving people their tea leaves readings.
Parvati: They never appreciate us!
Lavender: They really don’t. And we could be saving their lives. You never know.
Parvati: Our tea leaves readings are just that important. They should be ashamed for ignoring us!
Lavender: Well, we still have our loyal readers.
Parvati: Yes, we really do.
Lavender: And because of that, the show must go on! And Parv, don’t start singing, please.
Parvati: You’re the boss here!
Lavender: Yes, I am. Let’s begin!
Virgo
*swish*
Parvati: *hums* Wonder what the tea leaves have in store for us today.
Lavender: There’s no telling.
Parvati: Something exciting, I hope! Especially for my sign.
Lavender: I’m sure it will be exciting. Maybe not what people expect though.
Parvati: It never is.
Lavender: So true. It’s…
Fish
Lavender: I wonder if that’s plural or singular.
Parvati: Isn’t it all the same?
Lavender: Of course not, Parv, I’m completely scandalized. A singular fish represents stinkiness.
Parvati: That’s awful! A month of smelling bad!
Lavender: Plural fish means you will be popular. Cause ‘school of fish.’
Parvati: Oh, it does matter.
Lavender: Of course, plural fish would be better, so it’s probably singular.
Parvati: Better carry around lots of perfume this month!
Lavender: You’ve got that right!
Libra
*swish*
Parvati: I need some new perfume.
Lavender: You really do. We all hate that floral nonsense you’re using right now.
Parvati: People do start sneezing the second I walk in a room…
Lavender: And I don’t think a boy who is snotty-nosed is attractive. You should go with something with a hint of fruit.
Parvati: Oranges maybe?
Lavender: That’s a random scent. I was thinking apple…
Parvati: But I love oranges!
Lavender: …. anyways. It’s...
A flag
Parvati: Libra… I have no clue. Lavender?
Lavender: There’s a symbol in your life this month, Libra, that’s going to represent a huge aspect in your life.
Parvati: Deep…
Lavender: That symbol will be your flag.
Parvati: Are you sure it’s just not about their country?
Lavender: No, it’s a symbol. For sure.
Parvati: If you say so…
Parvati: So I hear the new Paw Print theme is “Old and new.”
Lavender: There’s a lot of things that are old and new, but we stick around through them all!
Parvati: Oh, that’s so true! We do, don’t we?
Lavender: Here we are, year by year, giving people their tea leaves readings.
Parvati: They never appreciate us!
Lavender: They really don’t. And we could be saving their lives. You never know.
Parvati: Our tea leaves readings are just that important. They should be ashamed for ignoring us!
Lavender: Well, we still have our loyal readers.
Parvati: Yes, we really do.
Lavender: And because of that, the show must go on! And Parv, don’t start singing, please.
Parvati: You’re the boss here!
Lavender: Yes, I am. Let’s begin!
Virgo
*swish*
Parvati: *hums* Wonder what the tea leaves have in store for us today.
Lavender: There’s no telling.
Parvati: Something exciting, I hope! Especially for my sign.
Lavender: I’m sure it will be exciting. Maybe not what people expect though.
Parvati: It never is.
Lavender: So true. It’s…
Fish
Lavender: I wonder if that’s plural or singular.
Parvati: Isn’t it all the same?
Lavender: Of course not, Parv, I’m completely scandalized. A singular fish represents stinkiness.
Parvati: That’s awful! A month of smelling bad!
Lavender: Plural fish means you will be popular. Cause ‘school of fish.’
Parvati: Oh, it does matter.
Lavender: Of course, plural fish would be better, so it’s probably singular.
Parvati: Better carry around lots of perfume this month!
Lavender: You’ve got that right!
Libra
*swish*
Parvati: I need some new perfume.
Lavender: You really do. We all hate that floral nonsense you’re using right now.
Parvati: People do start sneezing the second I walk in a room…
Lavender: And I don’t think a boy who is snotty-nosed is attractive. You should go with something with a hint of fruit.
Parvati: Oranges maybe?
Lavender: That’s a random scent. I was thinking apple…
Parvati: But I love oranges!
Lavender: …. anyways. It’s...
A flag
Parvati: Libra… I have no clue. Lavender?
Lavender: There’s a symbol in your life this month, Libra, that’s going to represent a huge aspect in your life.
Parvati: Deep…
Lavender: That symbol will be your flag.
Parvati: Are you sure it’s just not about their country?
Lavender: No, it’s a symbol. For sure.
Parvati: If you say so…