For Halloween, I knew that I would definitely have to go on a candy shopping spree. It’s one of the only times of the year where I can do it without feeling guilty, so I brought every galleon, sickle and knut I could find, and made my way to Honeydukes. I left with bags of sweets that seemed to weigh as much as me and realized then that maybe this hadn’t been my best idea.
I will only be reviewing one ‘treat’ candy and one ‘trick’ candy, as there would be way too many to get through and I’ve had enough candy already! However, do know that I did spend my money on all sorts of sugary goods - from Blood-Flavoured Lollipops to Exploding Bonbons to Fizzing Whizzbees! And considering the amount I’ve bought, I think they’ll last me a lifetime. So if anyone sees me around Hogwarts this Halloween, just say ‘Trick Or Treat!’ and I will lob some candy towards you.
Let’s get started. First the treat: Sugar Quills. You may be expecting some sort of flavour-rating, but they’re fairly basic and taste like many other simple sweets, even though they do come in a variety of flavours. Therefore I’m going to do this a little differently, and I’ve actually taken this as a literal taste test in my Defence Against the Dark Arts class.
The Sugar Quill itself (or the one I bought) is actually functional too and works as a normal quill. I also bought the Deluxe version, since it lasts longer, and therefore could take more time to notice that I was eating it. I pulled it out of its wrapper (while concealing it in my bag) during my DADA class. It’s a bit noisy, so you need to be careful, but my professor didn’t notice. For this particular class period we had a test, making it an ideal opportunity to try out this quill, and I have to say the overall experience wasn’t as thrilling as I expected. I mean yeah, it was awesome being able to sneakily eat sweets during class, but it wasn’t as if I had just snuck a baby dragon underneath my desk.
* It tasted great!
* It barely looked eaten by the end of class.
* Being able to eat candy in class is awesome.
* It stopped me from getting bored.
* It looks like your average quill. You can only tell its candy if you get really close to it.
* Actually being able to use it to write down your answers.
* It’ll stop you feeling peckish before lunch.
* Sometimes you get a bit too carried away and end up forgetting to actually do your work.
* Avoid drooling over your parchment.
* You’ll get some odd glances from those sat beside you.
* You have to be really, really discreet. Professors are aware of Sugar Quills. Make sure you don’t chomp it noisily.
Overall - 4/5. Sugar Quills are great. They taste good (like most candy!) and are a genius idea. It would’ve gotten the full 5/5 if it weren’t for a couple of negatives. Despite them being known to be sucked on secretly in class - I don’t really think it is. I mean, yeah, it kinda makes you look like you’re thinking if you tilt your head a little too, but I think the professors have been around long enough to realize that people don’t just suck at their quills if they’re ordinary feathers. They just don’t taste good and it is a little odd.
Finally! The trick. Cockroach Clusters. Even the name has that slightly shuddery feeling to it. Like the word scab or something. It just isn’t very pleasant. And what makes it worse is that Cockroach Clusters actually (or apparently) contain cockroaches.
Lets get this over with, shall we?
YEP. OKAY - 1/5. REALLY NOT MY FAVOURITE SWEET EVER.
The 1 is for how good it is at being gross.
And yes, I believe it contains real cockroaches.
So that’s it for this time! If you have anything you want me to review (anything at all, as long as it isn’t a real muggle product) then just drop me a message!
- Elisa Everlong