By Hailey Potter
Over the past week, I’ve worked like an insane amount of hours. Some highlights? I had a woman yell at me and my other co-workers because we didn’t know how much some of the arcade games are (um… we don’t own them! The space is rented out), and we had 800 people on Thursday night for the premiere. Which, by the way, is unprecedented at my theater. Or, at least, since I’ve begun working there.
So without further adieu… sarcastic things I want to say to the crazy people at my movie theater.
1. Yes, I realize you’re mad having to wait in such crazy long lines when you want to get a good seat in the theater. But you must realize there are 800 people in our lobby right now. We’re doing the best we can considering.
3. When you call, I am more than likely helping someone in person too. So please be courteous enough to at least tell me you dialed the wrong number before hanging up on me.
4. Like I said, when you call I am more than likely helping someone in person too. I do not have the time to name off all 11 movies we have AND their individual timings. There’s another phone line for that.
5. Yes, I have seen the movie, but no, I will not tell you I have seen it because then you’ll bombard me with questions. Since you’re infinitely more into it than I am, you will probably like said movie way more than I did.
6. Dear kids sobbing during the fight scene in the top row… did you not read the book??
7. Dear parent taking her six year old little girl…. Are you crazy??
8. Yes, you heard me right. The special Twilight cups are $7 if you want soda in it. No, I don’t think that’s ridiculous, because I know concession sales are how we keep our doors open.
9. Yes, I realize I just said $4.50 when I meant $8.75, and no, you can’t get it for the first price. I’m going on my 13th hour here in the last 24 hours. Please give me a break.
10. I’m sorry we just sold the last hot dog and you wanted it. I am not a mind-reader! First come, first serve!
Things I want people to know (seriously)…
1. I’m sorry our coke icee machine is broken, and I’m sorry our cherry icee is on defrost. There is nothing I can do to fix this problem. It’s not my fault they won’t replace our machine. Please, please, please stop chewing me out over it.
2. While we’re on the subject of icees, I know it seems ridiculous that we only have a large size. That’s not our fault. If we could sell smalls we would. I have been chewed out many, many times in the last couple years for selling $6 icees. Please don’t yell at me again.
2. Yes, I realize we are out of four types of candy. We had 800 people the night before coming to see this movie. I know it sucks, and I know you don’t understand how we can be out. But again, we had 800 people last night.
3. Yes, I know it’s annoying now that you have to come inside to see our movie times instead of driving by the front of the building. No, it was not management’s decision, it was the owners’ decision because it cost almost $1000 to get professional looking cards with the times and that’s kind of a ridiculous price, don’t you think? No, I’m not going to pass that to the owners that you’re mad, because I want to keep my job…
4. I’m not being sarcastic when I ask you what website you’re checking for our time listings when you come in swearing we had a 5 o’clock show when we don’t. For some strange reason, if you’re not on our website, the other websites (including Flixster and iMDB) get our show times wrong. I’m asking you legitimately trying to help you understand where you can go to get the correct timings. Please don’t get snarky with me.
But, there was one thing that happened over the past week that will make you all smile.
I had an older man come up to my line amidst all the Twilight madness. He looked in his 60s or maybe 70s. Probably 60s. He had white hair that came almost to his shoulder, and he had round spectacle glasses on. Later he somewhat reminded me of a younger Dumbledore.
Around his neck, though, was the best thing I could have ever seen in all the vampire craziness: a bright red and yellow Gryffindor scarf, complete with the Hogwarts crest.
I should have spoke up and said I’m a Gryffindor, too. I didn’t… but that guy made my night.