by Hailey Potter
However, the job market is very slim locally at the moment, so when an interim education assistant appeared in front of me, I jumped to take it. I work with students kindergarten through fifth… and boy, do those kids say the craziest things!
I thought it might be fun to share them with all of you, my dearest friends. So here are some of the things kids have said and done over the past two months at my new job!
Kindergarten girl: *while practicing writing the letter B, sings to the tune of Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star* B, B, B, B, B, B, B / B is my favorite / B, B, B.”
One second grade twin girl: WHICH TWIN AM I?
Second Grade Boy: I’m moving tomorrow. This is my last day. But I haven’t told my teacher yet. I’m serious. *later* I told my teacher. I’m really actually moving. But if I show up tomorrow it’s because I wanted to see you one last day. (This was a week ago… he’s still at our school.)
Third Grade Boy: It’s not TUCK in your chairs, it’s PULL in your chairs.
Same Kindergarten girl: *when making a mistake while practicing writing her letters* Oh, pickles!!!
Fifth Grade Girl: Can you be my big sister?
First Grade Girl: But I don’t WANT to sit criss cross applesauce!!
Every Kid Who’s Seen Me At My Other Job: I SAW YOU AT THE MOVIE THEATER! (Yes, I saw you, too. :D)
Second Grade girl: If you like someone you should say “Roses are red, violets are blue, do you want to kiss me, too?”
Kindergarten boy: *when I told him no, I wasn’t going to allow him to go to the bathroom for a second time in fifteen minutes* You aren’t my best friend anymore. You are no longer my best friend!! *pouts*
Kindergarten Boy: What’s your husband’s name?
Me: I don’t have a husband.
Kindergarten Boy: Do you live with your mommy and daddy?
Me: Yes, I live with my mom and dad.
Kindergarten Boy: Does your husband live with your mommy and daddy?
Me: I don’t have a husband.
Kindergarten Boy: But what is his name?
Me: I’m not married!
Kindergarten Boy: But you live with your mom and dad.
Me: Yes.
Kindergarten Boy: Well, if you live with them, but your husband doesn’t, when do you ever see your husband?
Me: …. *gives up* Hey, that’s not about colors. Let’s get back to our colors. What color does this paper say?
SAME Kindergarten Boy: I CAN’T FIND MY TEACHER!! SHE’S HIDING FROM ME!!!
Second Grade Boy: *raises hand* Yes, that girl over there in that other class is-
Me: *looks* … are you trying to get your twin sister in trouble?
Second Grade Boy: How did you know she was my sister??
Me: I stand in front of you and tell you to go to your car after school every day.
Second Grade Boy: Ahh, man!
Every Kid in the School: What’s your name?
Me: Miss Hailey. (okay, not my real name, but you get the drift)
Every Kid in the School: *points to their nose* What’s this?
Me: I’ve heard this one…. the second graders did it to me four weeks ago…
(You say your name, then “nose”, then they ask what they have in their hands. You say “nothing” and they go “hahahahaha YOU SAID YOU KNOW NOTHING!”)
Same Kindergarten Girl: I watched a scary movie last night and I’m still so scared of it! I don’t ‘member what it’s about. It was really scary though! I’m scared just thinking about it!
In closing, there is one second grade girl last week who was saying that a guy who ate his chicken in his corn was gross. I was trying to tell a story with the moral that we all eat things differently, and what may be gross to you is not gross to them. For example, I told her that I liked eating my pickles with ranch dressing and sunflower seeds. She thought that was the funniest thing and every day at lunch she raises her hand and I go to her and she repeats that back to me all the while giggling insanely. This takes place about 3 times before I tell her I’m not coming back for the rest of the lunch period. She completely missed the moral to my story!! Haha. These are only some of the many the stories I’ve had over the past couple of months. Kids seriously do crazy things!