by Hailey Potter
It all began when Professor Jenny Lupin entered the room. Always popular with students, she was greeted warmly, like normal. And then a student, Chadwina*, decided to address her as JeNayNay, which was apparently Jenny’s Alternate Hood Reality name. Jokes were cracked, old Jennifer Lopez songs were referenced, and soon Jenny was going by J.Lu.
And that’s when it happened. One by one, Jenny’s hidden personalities began to enter the room! We didn’t quite know what had hit us. Did someone have some sort of sinister plan to clone Jenny? Was the Jenny who had first entered the room truly the real Jenny? These
First, the Hood Jenny Clone entered. “Guuuuuuurl,” JeNayNay screamed, “don’t you be messin’ with my Gryffs! Lemme tell ya, gurrl. (sic)” She then started poking her particularly long, pressed-on nails in the air.
Alarmed, we all looked at J.Lu, who was laughing, so we decided we’d laugh too. Of course, those of us who weren’t Jenny began to talk, and while we began to talk amongst ourselves, the distinction between the two Jennys became even harder to keep up with. In fact, looking back at the logs now, I myself now realize that when I thought I was talking to the real Jenny, I was conversing with the Hood Clone JeNayNay. Thus the confusion began.
Before we could prepare, another Jenny clone walked in. Named Jennay, she immediately began causing confusion among the innocent bystanders. Then three seconds later, here comes another Jenny, this one named Jenneh! Now we had four Jennys and they all looked the same, except for the Hood Clone JeNayNay! Jenneh was the best clone yet, who copied Jenny’s normal mannerisms down to dotting the Is and crossing the Ts, including Jenny’s signature ^__^.
Getting confused yet?
Then JeNayNay began talking again, going, “Is there any Gryffs in hurr who hasn’t signed up for da Common Crib yet? Cuz you really need to. (sic)” First years were backing up out of the room out of fear and confusion, and I myself found Bay hiding right behind me, whispering about whether or not she should go hide. I didn’t really know what to do; my head was spinning and we were definitely being taken over by the Jenny clones.
The door opened again as I watched the chaos. I guess I was so distracted I hadn’t noticed that there had been conversations between the Jenny clones and here came another Jenny through the door; Officer Jenny, Jenny’s evil clone!
So now at this point, there’s so many Jennys we can’t even take a count. The following conversation then took place:
Bay: There’s so much pink and green…
Hailey: My head is seriously spinning.
Sobe: I’m just going to ignore the room for a while.
Jenneh: NEVER IGNORE GRYFFINDOR! FOR SHAME!
JeNayNay: We all da same person. Why y’all confused?
Officer Jenny: Yay, lions!
Bay: *backs away*
Hailey: Sobe has the right idea….
Officer Jenny: *duct tapes Hailey and Sobe to the wall*
JeNayNay: Where is our guurrll Jenny? The real Jenny?
Bay: *turns and sprints away*
Officer Jenny: Maybe I should use handcuffs. ;) *lassos Bay*
Officer Jenny: YOU MUST HAVE FUN!
Sobe: Let’s distract them with Jenny’s favorite things!
Hailey: I feel like we’re in that scene in Deathly Hallows 1 where there’s half a dozen
Unidentified Student: Bay, pretend to be asleep!
JeNayNay: Look at those boys, oh, they be Asian…
Bay: *fakes sleep*
Hailey: I KNOW!! IT’S POLYJUICE POTION GONE AMOK!!
Officer Jenny: Ooh, yay, ramen!
Bay: *plays dead*
Officer Jenny: You’re duct taped, Sobe, you can’t run away from duct taped.
Destri: *plays dead*
Bay: Guys, it’s working! One down!
Sobe: Duct tape means nothing! *goes away*
Officer Jenny: NO! You WILL stay! I will MAKE you!
Jennys: HEY ZOKI!!
Zoki: ……. Why are there two Jennys?
JeNayNay: We be watchin’ our Gryffs.
Chadwina clone: *enters* Hi!
Zoki: *walks away, ignoring Gryffindor*
Officer Jenny: NO ONE can ignore GRYFFINDOR! *cracks whip* We’re the best house!
Then, it happened. POOF. The Polyjuice Potion must have worn off. There, standing in place of the Jennys, was Chadwina, Tylique, and Laurina, grinning at each other.
“Let’s do that again soon, shall we?” Chadwina smiled, shrugging her shoulders, obviously proud of herself.
And then the Common Room returned to normal. Sobe and I were torn down from the walls, and Bay and Destri stopped faking death, and everything soon calmed down again and we returned to our original tasks.
So why am I telling you this story of full-on hijinks and insanity? Well, there are definitely some morals to this story:
- Remember that Gryfftoberfest motto from a few years ago about us needing padded walls? That is obviously true. We might need to re-pad the walls of our channel soon.
- We as a house should probably cut back on our butterbeer intake… too much of that stuff will obviously make you crazy… especially on the last week of the term!
- The world should not fear a zombie apocalypse, they should fear a Jenny-ocalypse.
And last, but definitely not the least: Our Jenny, the normal Jenny, is irreplaceable and our favorite Jenny, no matter how hard the clones try to replace her. ^__^ We love you, J.Lu, whether you’re from the Block or just the Lions’ Den! And just remember, if you weren’t so awesome, no one would have tried to clone you in the first place. XD
*names have been changed to protect students’ identities
Confused? Here’s a name guide for quick reference:
JLu- Jenny’s “Jenny from the Block” nick. This is the real Jenny Lupin!
JeNayNay- Jenny’s Hood Clone – (Chadwina*in disguise)
Jennay – Jenny’s Second Clone – (Tylique* in 1st disguise)
Jenneh – Jenny’s Third Clone – (Laurina* in disguise)
OfficerJenny – Jenny’s Evil Clone – (Tylique* in 2nd disguise)