By Prof. Missa Matz
How is it, that a excellently talented man like yourself, whom everybody should set as an example for themselves, happens to be under appreciated? I'm fascinated by your immense knowledge of the Dark Arts and Potion mastery and think it is totally ridiculous that the Minister of Magic doesn't offer the position of headmaster of your own school!
Your's sincerely,
Snape is Great!
He Who Is Almost Smart,
I am assuming you are a he, given the fact that your letter is definitely non-gender specific. Secondly, I commend you for knowing how to spell 'ridiculous'. That takes pure wit and genius. Not a Gryffindor I gather. As to your comments about me becoming a headmaster of my own school I must say, I would never dream of it. Sure, I could make the lives of miserable little peons like you even worse, but the migraine your incessant nagging would give me would just be too great a burden. I have no care for your pathetic every day lives and I never would. Now if you would so kindly remove your nose from my butt I would appreciate it.
Snape