by Hailey Potter
Parvati: Hey!
Lavender: Not you, silly, our fans.
Parvati: We have fans?
Lavender: Of course we have fans. Do you not see all the people?
Parvati: I mostly see your stuffed animals sitting at the student tables.
Lavender: *blush* Well, no one showed up today.
Parvati: Probably because of Gryfftoberfest!
Lavender: You’re probably right… all that butterbeer.
Parvati: Butterbeer?! Can I go too?
Lavender: No, Parv. We have to do this first.
Parvati: *sighs* FINE. Let’s just get this over with.
Aries
*swish*
Parvati: It’s extra squishy.
Lavender: They’re lonely. Everyone’s busy partying.
Parvati: Can you blame them?
Lavender: No.
Parvati: That’s what I thought. It’s…
A Light Pole
Parvati: Well, that’s bright.
Lavender: Yes, Parv, it is bright. A light to guide your way.
Parvati: Ooh, how lucky!
Lavender: Exactly. No bad luck for you this month, Aries!
Parvati: Have you ever noticed we don’t really say a lot for Aries?
Lavender: That’s a random statement.
Parvati: They probably hate us. We should give them hugs….
Lavender: Okay, how about YOU give them hugs. I’m going to move along now.
Taurus
*swish*
Parvati: Who wants a hug?!
Lavender: Parv, no one wants to hug you. Now sit down and come over here.
Parvarti: Why doesn’t anyone want to hug me?
Lavender: I could tell you why, but it would only- ooh look!
Parvati: IS IT A BOY??
Lavender: No, it’s…
A weeping willow
Parvati: Since when do trees cry?
Lavender: I swear, Parvati. What. Is. Wrong. With. You?!
Parvati: I don’t see anything wrong with me. I mean I have five fingers. I’m not like that weird webbed boy.
Lavender: This is true. Anyways, Taurus, your month will be a peaceful month.
Parvati: Such good fortunes today…
Lavender: Totes. This fortune also signals a chance in your life. Walk among its’ branches this month!
Parvati: Wow, that’s deep. You just sounded like a real seer!
Gemini
*swish*
Lavender: What do you mean? I AM a real seer!
Parvati: *giggle* Okay. If you say so.
Lavender: I’m way better than you.
Parvati: Are not!
Lavender: Are too! Let’s find out what the twins have in store!
Parvati: Yay twins!
Lavender: *grins* It’s…
A pearl
Parvati: Do you know that there’s a way out-
Lavender: PARV. As much as I love that song you’re forgetting the rules again!!
Parvati: I can’t HELP it, Lavender. I love that song!
Lavender: It is a great one. Well, Gemini, you will sparkle in the sunlight this month!
Parvati: …. Since when did they become a Twilight vampire?
Lavender: It’s not literal, Parv, it’s symbolic. It means they’re going to be special this month.
Parvati: But I want to be special!!!
Lavender: Parvati, silly, you’re a Gemini!
Parvati: ….. oh yeah. Yay me!
Cancer
*swish*
Lavender: Hey. Why don’t you eat this candy?
Parvati: *eats candy and passes out*
Lavender: Guys, I really want to take the time to apologize. We all know she’s not a real seer. She’s totally lost her sight. I’m the real star here, and we totally know it. *winks*
Parvati: *jerks awake* What did I miss?
Lavender: Nothing, nothing, it’s…
Wings
Parvarti: Everyone’s getting wonderful readings this month!
Lavender: It’s really surprising. I mean, it’s Halloween after all!
Parvati: Nothing spooky at all.
Lavender: Well, Cancer, you’re spreading your wings and flying on your own this month!
Parvati: Look out for other flying birdies!
Lavender: Yes, other flying birdies might make you lose your flight.
Parvati: And that’s no fun.
Lavender: Are you going to give anything helpful today?
Leo
*swish*
Parvati: WHY are you being so MEAN to me today?!
Lavender: I’m not being mean.
Parvati: Oh, whatever.
Lavender: Okay, FINE. I’m SORRY I’m being so MEAN.
Parvati: See, was that so hard?
Lavender: *shakes her head*
Parvati: It’s…
Bells
Parvati: Ooh, how pretty!
Lavender: Very.
Parvati: Looks like you’re going to have a musical month, Leo!
Lavender: And look out for warning signs of badness. You can avoid it if only you listen!
Parvati: Whoa, why didn’t I see that?
Lavender: I don’t know, Parv…. I think you’re just too busy thinking about getting back to Gryfftoberfest….
Parvati: So true…
Virgo
*swish*
Parvati: Virgo, shmurgo, I wanna go…
Lavender: We’re like over halfway through. We’ll be done before you know it!
Parvati: I hope so. I hear Fat Lady’s fashion show is going to be starting soon.
Lavender: Hey! Audience! Where are you going!
Parvati: …. Maybe I shouldn’t have mentioned the fashion show.
Lavender: *glares*
Parvati: Hey, look! It’s…
Rust
Parvati: Poor, poor Virgo…
Lavender: Yes, that’s not good at all.
Parvati: Something’s going to get dirty.
Lavender: Something can be discolored. Expect someone close to you to become an entirely new person this month… and not in a good way.
Parvati: You are so good at this…
Lavender: I know. Professor Trelawney told me I have the Gift.
Parvati: You sure do.
Libra
*swish*
Parvati: We should have Professor Trelawney come to one of these one month.
Lavender: That’s an interesting idea.
Parvati: She can guest star!
Lavender: Great idea!
Parvati: Well, duh. I’m totally idea girl.
Lavender: Not really…. Hey, it’s…
An arch
Parvati: Isn’t there an arch in the US?
Lavender: Yes, it symbolizes gateways.
Parvati: Then why isn’t it a gate?
Lavender: …..anyways. You’re entering a new era in your life, Libra. Tread with caution! These will dictate the rest of your life.
Parvati: That’s a lot of pressure….
Lavender: No pressure though!
Scorpio
*swish*
Parvati: We never talked about anything Halloween related today.
Lavender: We are such holiday-ruiners.
Parvati: Are you going to be anything this Halloween?
Lavender: Yes.
Parvati: What?
Lavender: Awesome.
Parvati: But, Lav, you’re ALWAYS awesome.
Lavender: Aww, thanks. You’re so sweet! It’s…
A door
Parvati: Well that’s kind of similar to Libra!
Lavender: … err, yes. Well, maybe not.
Parvati: How so?
Lavender: Scorpio has an option. They don’t have to go through the door.
Parvati: No?
Lavender: Nope. They can refuse to go through it and continue on.
Parvati: What happens then?
Lavender: Nothing fun, that’s for sure.
Parvati: So true…
Sagittarius
*swish*
Parvati: Almost done, almost done! *dances*
Lavender: Yes, almost done.
Parvati: I’m super excited!
Lavender: I bet you are.
Parvati: Definitely am.
Lavender: Okay. It’s settling now…
Parvati: It’s…
Prof. Snape
Parvati: *frowns*
Lavender: I don’t see why people think he’s such a hunk.
Parvati: He’s scary really.
Lavender: I think we know what this means.
Parvati: Yes, we do!
Lavender: Sorry, Sagittarius! You’re failing a class this month!
Parvati: I was thinking you were going to be extra scary this month.
Lavender: …. That too. *nods*
Capricorn
*swish*
Parvati: We get brief with these last few too.
Lavender: We should switch up the order one day too. Give the others a chance…
Parvati: Ooh, I like that idea.
Lavender: We’re super awesome with the ideas today.
Parvati: Must be all the butterbeer we’re drinking.
Lavender: Yes, flows creative juice to your brain.
Parvati: It’s…
A dress
Parvati: OH NO! THE FAT LADY’S FASHION SHOW MUST BE STARTING!
Lavender: We need to hurry so we can get to it!
Parvati: Capricorn, we’re so sorry! We’ve got to go!
Lavender: We can’t ditch them!
Parvati: Yes, we can!
Lavender: We still have Aquarius and Pisces!
Parvati: No, we don’t.
Lavender: Yes!
Parvati: FINE. YOU do the rest yourself. I’m going to the fashion show. *leaves*
Lavender: ………..
Lavender: Okay. Well then. I’m sorry for Parvati’s rudeness. Capricorn, you’re going to be pretty this month!
Aquarius
*swish*
Lavender: This just isn’t the same without Parvati.
Lavender: I feel like I’m talking to myself.
Lavender: This super sucks.
Lavender: I am not talking to her for WEEKS.
Lavender: Well, anyways. It’s…
Fire
Lavender: Bunny on the fourth row? Do you have anything to say about this?
Lavender: No?
Lavender: What about you, elephant?
Lavender: You guys are no help.
Lavender: Aquarius, you get an intense month. Be careful and try not to burn yourself!
Pisces
*swish*
Lavender: I’m so sorry about this, guys.
Lavender: I don’t know what got into her.
Lavender: She’s seriously on probation.
Lavender: I really hate this…
Lavender: It’s….
A bus
Lavender: Ooh! You’re traveling somewhere today!
Lavender: If Parv were here she’d probably say keep your hands and feet on the inside.
Lavender: Ha, or sing that stupid muggle song… the wheels on the bus go round and round….
Lavender: I am going to rip her to pieces…
Lavender: Well, that’s it for today! I’d give you something good to leave with, but Parv’s here and let’s face it. None of you animals care about your leaves anyways.
Lavender: Here’s hoping for a better next month?
Lavender: I am SO firing Parv. Don’t be surprised if someone else is here next month!
Lavender: Bye for now! Enjoy Gryfftoberfest!